I have a strong tolerance for discomfort. I can avoid, ignore, evade or go Vague in regards to the ‘stuff’ that needs to be organised. It still boils down to the fact I cannot and will not move forward easily until I vanquish the obstacles in my way.
For the longest time I’ve procrastinated being an artist and living my artist life. It is actually denying what is true for me, denying my own self and my own being. When I do make my art I feel so happy and satisfied. When I make my art it seems such a simple and an easy thing to do. It feels right.
This story of denial is played out through procrastination, unmade decisions, the build up of ‘stuff’ in my life, physical obstacles that stop me before I start. For example, my studio workspace is in a constant state of flux, always needing to be cleared, is cleared, then back to being a tip again. I do make some progress sorting it out and where I have taken control, things have stayed sorted. I can put a working system into place, organise all the tools together so I know where to find them (and put them away) I can eliminate items that I no longer need. I can remove old projects that distract from making the art I want to make.
There are so many unfinished compositions of pieced ‘patchwork’ cloth waiting to be quilted, so many cloths created along one theme or another, then so many ideas come cascading down when I start yet another new idea. This has been my ongoing story. It is currently my place in the scheme of things.
So I’ve decided to approach this challenge by taking this Chakra Quest with Anodea Judith alongside my yoga practice, with the intention of unblocking the stuck energy, of being able to access the cause of the fear that underpins this procrastination habit. To work with chakra energy to integrate the body, mind and soul. To be able to move forward confidently, competently to finish and create the art that I am to make.
It is interesting though, because in my plan to finish some small colour and pattern studies, I am hand quilting them as opposed to the original plan ( made so long ago ..!.) to machine quilt them. And here’s what I have found : that I love, love the motion and meditative quality of hand quilting. I have been consistently quilting these pieces since I started. I love the textured look and handle of the cloth. That my energy penetrates all the layers, I’m putting myself in there. The stitches create a soft, beautiful, wholly integrated cloth.
I’m hoping that this bodes well for my chakra work .
2016 was my Year of Finishing. I completed projects I started, by the book, by ecourse and online challenges. I learned to follow through on commitments yes, but possibly compromising a sense of autonomy ? I like to think of it as training in life skills that up to now have eluded me.
Here’s what I have done and what I’ve learned.
January I completed a commission for my number one collector.
February I completed Cynthia Morris’ Free Write Fling*, an online writing class, Free writing everyday for 28 days. My coveted reward for everyday writing was a copy of ‘Cross the Finish Line’ : Overcoming The Hurdles to Completion’ Cynthia ‘s excellent e-book.
I simultaneously worked through ‘The Lotus and The Lily’ by Janet Connor, a spiritual guide book to help define your year ahead using journaling and the exercises provided. This is a thirty day process which is drawn from both Christianity and Buddhism . For me it was an introduction into prayer also . I did ‘The Lotus and The Lily’ in 2015 but didn’t complete with the final flourish, to create an personal mandala. I created a beautiful mandala for 2016.
In March I worked from Marie Kondo book **** ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying’ I finished the clothes part of the process, edited my book collection and worked half way through the ‘papers’ section. I can testify to her methods because since then, I only wear clothes that I love and the drawers are always neat and tidily folded. I can find everything!
Then I moved onto the studio and on a whim, I decided to make a sewing table with drawers. I cut a table top in half lengthways , lined up both sides together sandwiching wood batons between them along three sides. With some random pieces of wood that I found in the studio, and some Left over peg board, I made the drawers. Then added legs with swivel wheels and brakes. The process was organic, intuitive, I worked it out as I went along. I love this way of working. I can’t help but think this spontaneity might have to be reined in, if I am to create some big work next year. My reward for finishing the table was a trip away to see my son and his beautiful family.
Next up was the #100 Day Project*** in April which I was wary of starting because I stopped at 80 days in 2015. I was wracked with shame since I failed to complete 2015. Beginning to think about doing the project activated the inner critic big time. So I Free wrote the objections ( see the knock on benefits of the Free writing class ? ) I countered each one and came up with a plan.
My solution was to keep my project simple, do-able and within the same format, every day. I even took my pieces of cloth away to Corfu in July. My strategy worked and I completed all 100 pieces, on time.
Another class I had started and failed in 2015, The Focus Course** resumed in July. I joined in with this and bingo! Another success. This forty day class has daily actions to learn the elements of focus as to be applied to any area of your life. Shawn Blanc takes the best from self help books and presents a daily program to help you discern and activate your priorities.
In June I completed my Grandson Zac’s quilt, which was lovely experience to use saturated colour and lively pattern, keeping his personality in mind as I worked.
This bring us up to October and I joined Ms Morris*and friends for another Free Write Fling. This time I concentrated my Free Writes on my #State of Mind Map project, exploring topics that I want to share. Octobers’ class morphed into an add on program, ‘Write On !’ During November and beginning December. It is set up to take your writing practice to another level. Write On! is writing with a single focused project in mind. It is the perfect place to begin to learn your own writing process , ( if you don’t already have one). Who knew it could be so dramatic ? Life participated in the program also, uniquely showing up for each of us. It was encouraging to see how every one rose up and rode out challenges. The level of accountability intensified ( for me) the challenges and made me face them – which I would not otherwise have done.
And the good news, I stuck with it and learned so much. So much. The level of accountability and support from the participants and Cynthias presence and attention, really does help to keep your project in mind. As I hinted above so many diversions raised their ugly heads, and in times past I would have succumbed and abandoned every thing.
What have I learned?
That to complete a project brings the lasting reward of quiet confidence. Lasting, because it does make your heart stronger and give you courage to commit to progress in the things that matter.
When you repeat an experience, it deepens your learning to the point where your find own way of doing things. You find your process. That these teachings can be revisited time after time and you can fine tune your learning.
Online classes have a greater level of sustainability than learning from a book. Probably because you receive the benefit of the presence and participation of the course leader. I’m sure Marie Kondo’s clients keep on top of their tidy spaces because they have benefitted from her direct help. Although it’s fair to say that what I did complete from ‘The Magic of Tidying’ has remained with me. This just needs to be revisited, is all and will in the new year. And isn’t it that decluttering is a perennial challenge anyway ? At any rate, learning is best from experts and the internet brings access to these.
You meet some amazing class mates, who support, help and encourage you along the way.
And most of all the investment in your time and effort is well worth it. Having the level of accountability from the group, coupled with your financial investment, makes you want to do well. It debunks my laissez faire attitude of not needing accountability, that actually given all that I completed this year, accountability can work.
I learned that I can focus, but only on one thing at a time. 2017’s activity is to rinse and repeat and to merge all of the above, to blend my activities into a shorter time frame, instead of spanning the year.
It sounds like a routine is approaching…..big booming footsteps on the horizon with a giant clipboard in hand ….with ‘TIDY’ heading the list.
*Writing my year review was inspired by Cynthia Morris, you can read about her jammed packed year and her courses – here.
** Shawn Blanc and the Focus Course starts again soon,
*** The Hundred Day Project was set up by Elle Luna, I expect it will resume in April, look out for it on Instagram.
**** And finally If you’re planning to start a new year Tidy Up you can get Marie Kondos book, come back to check my clear up progress to prepare for my #State of Mind Map project and let me know how you’re getting along also.
Ps. Last but not least ‘The Lotus and The Lily’ by Janet Connor. And it strikes me that all these topics, books, courses, present the same message in different packaging. To keep on keeping on.
Thinking about the square patch I’m using , I wonder where the square was first represented? It’s not a naturally occurring phenomena as far as I know. Crystals have geometric shapes though, like octagons. I think the square was created from the circle. Sharpening off the edges from the mid point of the circle to meet up at right angles……
After a modest amount of research I discover that a square created from the outside circumference of a circle is impossible due to mathematical laws. The drawn square is constructed from the inside area and circumference of the circle and here’s an animation to show you how ( if you don’t already know )
I also find that the most common crystal form is the cubic crystal ! look at this perfect cube created by nature. and consider common patchwork shapes used, the square, triangle, hexagon, rectangle, shapes that occur naturally in crystal form too. This is appealing, that quilters are recreating gems of the earth.
these little rectangles of cloth are starting their life as oyster wallets. they were cut out before I figured the best way to sew them, they have been waiting for some tlc. Now is the time.
I have a method of making that can incorporate the rectangles quite well. Now this problem has been sorted I’m keen to finish them. They will be in the shop when they are done.
Also today I learned how to resize photos on my camera. This is progress! I finally took the time to read the camera manual. I won’t need an expensive programme now ie photoshop..I can just resize on the camera. I’m pleased to have solved two problems today. What have you solved in your day?
Thank you for visiting.
Click here to sign up for Sewinspired! Studio News for exclusive sneak peeks of new works, event updates and your free Affirmative Art screensaver.
It’s finished! ‘Artist Made’ is neatly glued into the handbag frame and when you peek inside you see the lovely midnight blue satin lining playing off against the dark night velour interior facing. The interior of the bag is as important as the outside don’t you think?
I claim to be an artist.
I think of myself as an artist, I’ve been practising my artist intro.
I have a BA Hons degree.
I can make textiles..weave,spin fibres,print,knit,crochet,dye…
I can sew cloth-pretty much anything..handbags, hats,dresses,trousers,curtains, cushions,quilts, banners….
So the indication is there.
Yet do my actions match my words?
Do I live/breathe/make/create art ….YES….. on a regular self sustaining £$£ basis?..No
No. I try sporadically, have flurries of £$£ activity and all the while at the day job I think about what I will do When….what will happen When...I plan, I prepare,take classes, visualise my future artist life When…..
Because as my grand-daughter and I sing
‘Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink..( our favourite colour) Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think…..’
WHEN? NOW! and is Why I am taking art marketing lessons.